SUMMER 2007 FIXTURES!

Match Report v Havelock

VS
Havelock
(05/09/07)
FINAL SCORE LOST 5-3 (Half-time losing 4-3)
Scorers (Saif 2, Nakhuda)
MOM – Saif (Referee’s MOM Saif!)
Conditions : Dry Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4?) K/O Time : 21:00
Recent form (past 4 games)-
Players on form
Saeed 10 – 1 – 10 - 8
Yasir 7 - 9 – 8 - 8
Saif 8 – 7 – 10 - 9
Ishy C 7 – 8 – 1 - 10
QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings and comments by Yasir) -

Zuber GK – 8 - Unlucky with conceding so many goals, can’t have been at fault for that top corner effort in the first half. Only played a few times this season but when called upon has played well (apart from the howlers!!)

Yasin DF - 8 – Got turned once or twice but considering we were playing the champions that was always going to happen. Made some vital blocks and clearances.

Usama DF - 8 – An above average performance, organised the defence well but has generally had a quiet season – only got one goal this season!

Imran LB - 8 – The veteran has come back into the team and showed glimpses of what he is capable of, an average performance.

Nakhuda Right Mid - 7 – Scored a sweet left footer (it was all Saif’s making) but apart from that didn’t do much else. Has started in every game this season so disappointed to go off injured close to half time.

Saeed – Centre Mid - 8 - Linked up well with Saif for the first goal (?) and put some decent challenges in, on form recently.

Saif - Str - 9 – The superstar does it again, scores two and sets one up. Fed up of giving tens!!

Subs:

Ebrahim - 7 – Fresh from a trip in Amsterdam (hehe!!) and replaced Nakhuda, won some aerial challenges and did extremely well considering he was ill.

Match Summary
We started brightly as Saifullah latched onto a Saeed pass, skinned the opposition defender and finished well. ‘Super Saif’ then scored another goal, largely due to a mistake by the opposition goalkeeper who failed to distribute the ball properly. QPT then dominated with Saifullah running down the right wing, Nakhuda just about keeping up and finishing from close range with a left footed attempt. That’s when it all started going wrong, defensive errors and complacency saw Havelock back in it with quick successive goals to make it 4-3 at half time.

Havelock dominated the second half but the score remained 4-3 until they scored and caused the loudest cheer for them which showed just how much we pushed them. In the future though we need to get results from these kind of games.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog, plus end of season review by Ebrahim to follow, also refer to spreadsheet enclosed for stats - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com


Overall Tables Summer 2007


Top Goalscorers MOM Awards Top Average Ratings Overall Most Full Appearances
I Chotia – 10 Saifullah – 5 Saif – 6.86 Nakhuda – 13
Saif – 9 I Chotia – 1 Nakhuda – 6.71 I Chotia – 11
Hasan Lambat – Husky – 1 I Chotia – 6.14 Saifullah – 10(1)
Saeed – 4 Nakhuda – 1 Usama – 9
Nakhuda – 4 I Mayat - 1 Saeed – 7(2)
Amin – 3 Saeed - 1
Mujy - 2

MEDIA FRENZY -
Chotia exit confirmed!

Chotia has left the club after months of speculation, and the reason being that he wasn’t feeling loved by QPT! This mirrors Shevchenko and his lack of love shown by Mourinho. Legend Marcel Desailly recently commented on this but QPT bosses claim the exit was purely for financial reasons. Chotia has not performed to his usual standards although he claimed top goalscorer once again this season and what surprised fans most was that he left with just one game to go. So no farewell party for one of QPT’s most popular talents, which left Nakhuda in tears. For sure they will stay drinking partners, but what will happen when they face each other next season? Mr Ebrahim Patel added to the departure claiming that it was one of the biggest losses in the history of QPT but that no player is bigger than the club.

Another story in Media Frenzy this week is that Saifullah Firfire ‘donated’ his player of the season trophy to his driving examiner – a bribe which worked as he can now drive. So to end the season’s Media Frenzy

Match report v King Edward, and a bit about Tom’s Shad Shop!

Match report v King Edward, and a bit about Tom’s Shad Shop!21/08/2007

Probably the easiest game we’ve had all season was welcomed after a mauling the previous week (let us not mention THAT score…)

The team was lively from the word go in this one as some of the absentees from last week came back. A 5-0 lead at half-time included a clinical hat-trick from Ishy Chothia, and it suggested we would impose return the drubbing we received in the last game to these lot. However, as so often is the case in such ‘easy’ games, the 2nd half was (a little) tighter, Saif bagging a cool no-other-word-to-describe-it hat-trick. I, myself scored an absolute blinder after receiving the ball from Saeed that resurrected some favourite chants from the crowd…!

Special mention for Yasin who came on for Imran in a slightly unfamiliar left-back position – he immediately made a vital interception and fought hard not to get outmuscled by their unavoidable ‘big boys’. A couple of excellent one-twos also led to openings for us and showed what he can do given the opportunity.

I don’t believe there is much to learn from this game as King Ed did not put up any fight. Last week’s game, however, was a different matter altogether. It has so often in the past that when teams ‘push’ us about and incur some crunching tackles on us, we simply don’t like it, i.e. we get intimidated and stop playing our game. This leads ultimately to failure – it seems that we can only play when things are rosy in the garden and conditions are right for us.

Tom’s Shad Shop was a different challenge altogether because they didn’t get rough with us. Instead, we were faced with some first-teamers unexpectedly not showing so that, at the last second, our regular subs were thrown on to make up the seven.

Granted, it was messy, and we immediately went a goal down. But I believe that this is when true stars have this exciting opportunity to help QPT grind out a performance by displaying the maturity and composure required of such players. The complete opposite happened – cries of “What’s going on?!” and an abusive negative vibe that works like a chain reaction, putting added pressure to an already challenging situation. Consequently, the chances that we had (and we easily had a handful of clear ones) went begging and players refused to do what they do best, i.e. their job!

It was embarrassing, especially since only their GK was really top class. The history books will say this is our record defeat, but the opposition was not worthy of it. For that, we should be ashamed; the positive spirit of QPT was lost that day, a perfect day for rising above a rough period and fighting through the challenge, both physically and (more so) mentally and psychologically.

My motto has always been to stay positive – keep it up guys.

Match Report v Hole ith wall

VS
Hole ‘ith Wall
(07/08/07)
FINAL SCORE WON 3-0 - FIRST CLEAN SHEET WOO HOO!!! - (Half-time winning 3-0)
Scorers (Saeed 2, Ishy Chotia)
MOM – Saeed (Referee’s MOM Saeed)
Conditions : Warm, dry Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 2) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Big fat curry bloke’s brother.
Recent form (past 4 games)-
Team Players on form
Drew 1-1 Saeed 8 – 8 – 7 - 10
Won 4-2 Yasir 7 - 9 – 8 - 8
Won 3-1 Saif 7 – 10 – 8 - 7
Won 3-0 Nakhuda 6 – 8 – 8 - 9
QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings and comments by Yasir) -

Yasir GK – A great performance for another farewell and composed at all times (maybe a little too composed!!) MSN

Mohamed DF - 9 - excellent, cant really think of anything he did wrong. Some good right and left foot passing, and great interceptions.

Usama DF - 9 - again superb. one occasion comes to mind where he tried taking their striker on in defence but other than that - unsung! excellent passing and reading of the game. Would like to see him get forward and shoot more - you have a good shot use it!

Imran LB - 8 - didnt shine and didnt stick out in the wrong way. Nice and easy game, did everything that was asked, nothing dangerous - everyone can learn a thing from him - no need to be OVEREXUBERENT!! (youngsters get ur dictionaries out!)

Super Sayf RB - 7 - bit harsh to give him 7 but im basing this on past performances and recent reports - thought he was the next new new new new maradona at one point!! played well, very HONEST in that he stays on his feet all the time (sometimes js fall!), good interplay upfront. seemed to get tired 2nd half and stayed upfront - just tell someone if ur tired and come off! wasnt tired cycling all the way home!!!!! superman!

Saeed - MID - 10 - i rarely give a 10 but the youngster was fantastic! we must remember he is only 18!!! bossed the midfield, kept team going with instructions, and even played mental games with opposition (i think he knows what he is doin!) 2 great goals - especially the freekick. covers back well, goes forward and plays some great football with his pals!!! gona be a a real legend!!!!!! MOM (ofcourse!)

Ishy - STR - 8 - scored a great ishylike goal. played some good link up play with the rest of the team. again another one seemed to get tired? well played ish

Subs:

Ish Wadee - 7 - didnt really have time to do much but did his job well when he was asked. Needs to be stronger (for the 100th time!)

Husky L - 7 - played about 15mins, defended well, and nearly scored.

Yasin - 7 - did he get a touch?? yes he did! didnt do anything wrong and again jus did wot was asked! ul score one day yas!

Mujy – Unlucky not to get on, great attitude not to complain, has done well so far and I’m sure will feature well at end of season.

Top Goalscorers MOM Awards Top Average Ratings Overall Most Full Appearances
I Chotia – 10 Saifullah – 3 Nakhuda – 7.18 Nakhuda – 10
Husky – 5 I Chotia – 1 Saif – 7.00 I Chotia – 9
Saif – 4 Husky – 1 I Chotia – 6.82 Saifullah – 8(1)
Saeed – 4 Nakhuda – 1 Amin – 6(1)
Nakhuda – 3 I Mayat - 1 Usama – 6
Amin - 3 Saeed - 1 Saeed – 4(2)
Mujy - 2


Match Summary (by Yasir, thought let him do it considering it’s farewell and it better be this time!! MSN)
QPT ON FIRE!!! (or are they???)

Last 8 games - won 6 drawn 1 lost 1.

You know i like my stats!! but....this doesnt say wot it looks like.....if we played like
this all season, no doubt we'd be clear 2nds or even top. In fact our form is:

Played 11, won 6 (same as above), drawn 1 (same as above), lost 4

Im sure everyone will agree, it doesnt look as impressive anymore????

The 3 extra games we lost are (to those that dont already know) to teams we play over next 3 weeks. Havelock have won all 10 of their games, Holehouse (team we play next) have won 8 on the trot.
So anyone thinking this is going to be an easy run in - get ur heads checked. I reckon we can win all 3 and finish 2nd (a good finish considering its a tough league) but play even 90% to our ability and we will not get a point.

I was back in nets, thanks to mali letting me take his place! Dominated the game in first half, dont really remember a save to make so defence was solid. Saeed scored a good first goal and a good freekick - goal was gaping he took advantage! Minute later ishy did what he does best and ripped their defender and scored wit a quick snapshot!
3-0 first half, game was sealed and team reacted as such, with a pretty complacent laid back second half. cant do that next 3 games!
they had couple of chances but we had many more to seal the game. not much else to report really!!!! (and currently packing so got to get that done!!!!)

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com
MEDIA FRENZY -
Coke!

Media Frenzy reporters have been investigating the reasons for recent abnormal behaviour by Saifullah, claiming that he has developed an addiction for the high class drug cocaine. He has been the transfer of the season and quickly established himself as fans’ favourite. Quite on the pitch, never complaining and an excellent attitude to training but things are changing. ‘Saif’ as more commonly known is now showing signs of fading on the pitch, especially in the latter stages of the game. The club has branded this as “nonsense” and that “ Mr Firfire cycles 4 miles to the game AND BACK!! There aren’t any concerns regarding his fitness and QPT are considering legal action over these allegations”. On the subject of Coke, the Coca Cola company have released an Orange Limited version of the classic which is taking the club megastore by storm!

Elsewhere at QPT controversial director of football Mr Y Patel who is more commonly known for his off the field antics has agreed to leave the club with mutual consent. He is rumoured to be unhappy with the progress of Mr M Nakhuda and Mr E Patel but the new plc board think otherwise. There is no news for any immediate replacement but there may a promotion in line for Mr E Patel even though he claims his playing career is not over.

Match Report vs Fc Zy Bar

(31/07/07)

FINAL SCORE WON 3-1 (Half-time winning 2-1)

Scorers (Nakhuda, Saeed, Mujy) MOM – Saeed (Referee’s MOM Saifullah)

Conditions : Warm, dry Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Busty babe’s dad Peter….again.

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings and comments by Ebrahim. SAEED’S RATINGS IN BRACKETS) -

GK – Mo Ali – 9 (8). Commanding! Some excellent saves - the one at the end topped his, ours and the spectators' night.CEN BK - Mo N – 8 (7.5). Partnership with Usama is beginning to blossom again (I hope you mean the partnership ON THE PITCH! MN). Tackle in 2nd half was immense and saved an equalising goal.CEN BK - Usama – 7 (7). Freedom to roam induced link-up with midfield including his trademark fierce shots. Got overconfident on his passing though, which was scary at times.LEFT MID Saif – 8 (7). A surprisingly favourite position on left but not surprisingly put in a professional performance. His ball control itself is worth the ticket money (ok then, petrol money!)RIGHT MID - Imran – 7 (5). Not his preferred position but showed true team spirit by concentrating more on defensive duties and keeping opponents quiet. CEN MID - Saeed - 7. (10 “Best I’ve played this season”) The goal was typical with top-notch passing and movement. Tackling is not quite there yet but it'll come with games.STRIKER - Ishy C – 7 (6). Work with Saeed was breathless again, esp for 2nd goal. His invention and ability to leave his marker is still formidable. Subs:STRIKER - Mujy – 7 (7). Got another goal and gave us another solid option up front. Needs more games to sharpen up on his striking instinct.Ishy W, Husky L, Yasin, EP: Unused. Ishy and Husky particularly unlucky not to get on as I felt it would disrupt the tempo of our football, especially in defence. We are blessed with attackers, but it was safer to have the one sub this time.Zuber - 10. Just for reminding us he's still around...!Real Playas boys - 8. They must be impressed with 'their boys'. All we need now are some chants...Imran's 'spice' boys - 7. Together with the Playas, we had an eclectic fashion show on the sidelines. But they were one mark too conservative than the former boys.Bonus appearance: MD of Elite plus Junaid K (who has never seen us play) - no marks out of 10 would sum up the icing on the cake. Cheer of the day for Mo Ali's save. And Saif turned it on for them too...!

STATS TABLE TO FOLLOW SOON…PROMISE!!!
Match Summary
The match started at a slow tempo with QPT dominating possession but unable to create any real chances except for Chotia trying to curl a couple of efforts in but putting them way over the bar. Then came the Nakhuda goal out of the blue, a burst of pace, switched feet from right to left and a low drive from way out in to the bottom corner (have I made it sound good?!!). Saeed blocked the keeper’s view which was clever and that put us in the driving seat. We then looked like the only team to score and it came with Saeed passing to Nakhuda, then to Chotia, and back to Saeed to finish a lovely move! 2-0 and cruising. We then got a little bit excited with Nakhuda especially guilty of trying a couple of ambitious long balls (Saeed remember the one that landed to Chotia’s feet?!). The opposition started catching us on the counter and there were near misses when Mo Ali flapped at a couple of crosses. The goal then came, shortly after the fat guy walked through our midfield single handedly, but it was the fierce shot that beat a despairing Muhammad Ali.

So half-time and we started to look the better side, pressing in numbers especially down the left and Saeed was linking up play well. Even after Chotia was replaced, the balance remained as Mujy gave the attack a different dimension. Then came the trouble. First a minor square up between Nakhuda and the fat fella after a two footed challenge to block a goal bound attempt. Later, there were comments exchanged with Mujy and Saeed winding them up with comments such as “I pull more birds than you” (guess who?!!) and “too quick for you close your legs b***h” (Saeed I’m sure Mufti Saheb would be happy with that!). The game was spoilt as Imy Mayat was on the receiving end of racist remarks, which is despicable and have no place on the football pitch or anywhere else in society.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com
MEDIA FRENZY -
Yasin/Mujy childhood sweethearts!

Media Frenzy understands that Yasin and Mujy were childhood sweethearts and still have a soft spot for each other. Yasin mentioned this in a private meeting with Mr Nakhuda after the game when they sped away in the flamboyant Volvo 480. Yasin would like to ‘come out’ but unsure how this will affect his position in the dressing room, but may find some suitors with Mo Ali leading the chase! Other issues discussed are reported to be Yasin’s position at the club as Ebrahim seems to have ignored him in recent weeks. The team vs. FC Zy Bar could have maybe coped better with a defender in the latter stages of the match and somebody of Yasin’s calibre and pedigree should have been involved in the view of many as well as the omission of Imy Mayat. The likes of Ishy Wadee and Husky Lambat were also left on the bench as QPT cruised to a 3-1 victory. Mr Ebrahim Patel has brushed off claims of any political agenda at the club and has ensured the fans that the team will be chosen on merit but claims “the headache is a good one to have”. Elsewhere Imy Mayat was stripped of captaincy after a certain jealous Mr Nakhuda felt there was too much power swaying towards one of the most experienced QPT members of the squad. Nakhuda has also openly claimed he doesn’t like Imy and his ‘poncy’ VIP crew, especially now he has moved to a plush crib in Bolton!

In next week’s Media Frenzy does Yasin drop soap in the showers with Mo Ali first to pounce or does Saeed have what it takes to overcum him and find an alternative to his hair gel?!!!

MATCH REPORT VS ELC ROVERS

VS
ELC Rovers (24/07/07)
FINAL SCORE WON 4-2 (Half-time winning 2-1)
Scorers (Saif (2), Saeed, Ishy Chots) MOM – Saifullah
Conditions : Cloudy but dry for a change Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Busty babe’s dad Peter!

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -
GK – Mo Ali 6 (captain) – Wasn’t really called into action and not commanding on a couple of occasions in the first half. Catch the damn thing!! Nah, little chance with the goals and we value the fact that you’re in nets for us considering our main goalies have buggered off abroad.
CEN BK – Usama 8 – He said to me that he was enjoying ‘walking around’! I loved THAT challenge, the original Ussyfooter ain’t taking no prisoners no more!
CEN BK – Nakhuda 8 – Good in the air and showed good stamina near the end of the game as substitute Husky Lambat got knackered!! Stormed forward and nearly scored after yet another Saif run, only for the keeper to make a great save (just to big myself up).
CEN MID - Saeed 8 – What a miss! Hehehe!
RIGHT MID – Saif 10 –. What is this lad on? Absolutely magnificent, MUAAH MUAAH! Ishy Chots I have a new lover now!!
LEFT MID – I Mayat 7 – Decent game, backed out of challenges at times and got in the way of Ishy Chots on the left. Get up front Henry!!
STRIKER - Ishy Chotia 9 – Back on the scoresheet and long may it continue all hail Ismail Chotia….
Subs
STRIKER - Mujy 8 – Pushing for a starting place with another good performance, the highlight being skinning the whole team on and only just missing out on scoring!
STRIKER – Ebrahim – Unused, come on Eby get fit.
RIGHT MID – Husky L 7 – Got tired after a couple of mins but played well at centre half, what have you been up to Husky and why were you late?!
LEFT MID – Ishy Wadee 7 – The silky runs are back! Impressed his boys with some good flicks and passing with Mujy

Match Summary
By Ebrahim Patel - On paper, this is the easiest fixture of our calendar. In reality, we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves by missing a real host of chances – I don’t think we will get that many clear chances to score again all season.
A return in goal for The Mohammedali was to be an easy evening for him though as ELC could not carve any clear chances of their own. I should focus more on the return of the Wadees with Ishy on the bench – Saeed looked like he had never gone away as he commanded that midfield (and it looks like I have competition for my place now…!) Usama was “walking” – his own words, but it didn’t look like it from the sidelines – maybe he was making it look easy?
It was one of my toughest decisions to substitute Ishy Chots last week for another disappointing night in front of goal. But I’ve always admired how he keeps plugging away and never stands still – it’s the sign of a top-class striker that never wants to give up. He again maybe had the most of our guilt-edged chances but he was instrumental in our breathtaking creativity that no team (let alone ELC) could have handled without staying intelligently focused.
And it was this attacking approach that Saif opened the scoring with - a cute flick after a good build-up. The second was the best of the lot with Saeed and Ishy making passing look easy on the left; Ishy pulled it back for Saeed to control his shot well to place the ball in.
2-0 and we were cruising, as we should have been. But the golden rule in football is to take your chances! Otherwise what happened next could happen – a ‘popshot’ from the edge of our area which had to go through Mohammed’s legs to test the keeper. It didn’t actually test Mohammedali as it rolled straight into the corner. 2-1 at half-time and we were put under undue pressure.
The gutsy Chots reclaimed our two-goal lead however when he took time to put an accurate shot away inside the left-hand post. He was delighted, and so were we Ishy! The game should have been dead and buried by now as we missed another hatful of chances – Usama with a rugby penalty to challenge one of ELC’s woeful attempts in the first half. A better popshot (if there is such a thing) then flew straight into our top-right corner of the goal. The 3-2 scoreline flattered them, but that’s football guys.
So much talk of Chots and the Wadees and I’ve forgotten our true star of the night and that was Saif (remember he’s already scored one by now!) Steven Gerrard (I’m a Liverpool fan ok!) came to mind as he was literally everywhere – and commanding too. At one moment I thought he would offer to look for the ball as it sailed over the cage…! He would have found it before we’d even notice he was gone too! It really was awe-inspiring to just watch him, and it was fitting that he finished a deadly shot after good work by himself(!) to wrap up the game.
All three subs had their share of the game – Mujy having the pick of the play with a classy run on goal but their GK was having none of it! It was also encouraging to see some local support from the Real Playas boys – no doubt they must have been taking tips from the original playa himself, Imran…

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com
MEDIA FRENZY -
Yasin AWOL
Yasin was spotted outside Audley Chippy just minutes before the match vs ELC Rovers. This thanks to player/manager Mohamed Nakhuda who was present due to his routine pre-match meal! Yasin, QPT legend and a fans’ favourite has recently annoyed bosses by throwing the QPT shirt to the ground after the Forbes game. He has claimed to have been disgusted for his treatment and his agent claims that his loyalty does have it’s limits. This added to an AWOL for the ELC Rovers game and adds to speculation that he may not renew his contract. However co player/manager Ebrahim said “Mr Yasin Mayat missed the game for personal reasons. There is no need for any further comment on this issue.”. Another AWOL was Suleman Chotia, who was released after being tagged by the police after his recent arrest. This may spell an end to a short but successful QPT career as Usama has returned from his honeymoon.

Next week Media Frenzy, full report on how Imran Mayat has been stripped…..of captaincy!

QPT v Forbes 17 July

VS

Forbes Solicitors
(17/07/07)

FINAL SCORE DREW 1-1 (Half-time winning 1-0)

Scorer (I Mayat)
MOM – I Mayat

Conditions : Pissin it down! Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 3) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Fat Asian Curry Bloke!

Recent form (past 4 games)-

Team Players on form

Won 4-1 Amin 7 - 10 - 8 - 6
Won 5-1 Yasir 5 - 7 - 9 - 8
Lost 3-2 Saif 7 - 9 - 7 - 7
Drew1-1 Nakhuda 7 - 9 - 6 - 6

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -

GK - Yasir 8 – Made some crucial saves to cap off an illustrious QPT career (happy with that Yas and is this the end?). Didn’t even bother with a lap of honour for the Orange faithful. Seriously we will miss you sob sob me gone all mushy!!

CEN BK – S Chotia 9 – It’s sometimes unfair on players at the back as they don’t get the praise they deserve, would have been MOM if Imran hadn’t scored that goal.

CEN BK – Nakhuda 6 – The invisible man again, showed glimpses of what THE MAN can do but not like the Nakhuda of the past who could spur teams on. Needs to spend some quality time with Ishy Chotia watching Rocky over a couple of beers!

CEN MID - Amin 6 – Left some defensive gaps in the middle of the park and didn’t put the tackles in where it counted. Had hands in pockets at the beginning of the game and when it started hammering it down looked like he wasn’t interested.

RIGHT MID – Saif 7 –. Skinned the opposition full-backs all game but didn’t come up with that final product. Looked tired at times and showed less energy than usual but maybe it was the soggy pitch or was his mind on the missus?!

LEFT MID – I Mayat 9 – Captain FOR THE DAY (!) and showed it with an excellent performance. This is the old Imran we know, flying down that wing, getting crosses in and most importantly scoring those free-kicks. Forget the JJB league Fayaz are you reading (?) this is bigger than Beckham landing in LA!!!

STRIKER - Ishy Chotia 6 – Not scoring and this is affecting confidence, wasting too many chances and the fact that he wanted to start on the bench wasn’t the best of signs. At least he’s still shooting though, Chots chin up it’ll come, class is permanent.

Subs

STRIKER - Muji 7 – Made an instant impact when he came on, some good exchanged passes with Saif and myself. Picked up the ball, showed confidence and nearly scored. Proving the critics wrong and pressing for a starting place!

STRIKER – Ebrahim – Unused. still injured or I’m sure would have come on.

CEN BK – Yasin – Unused. and to be honest maybe should have replaced myself in the second half until I changed positions with Saif’s old position i.e. where Imran was originally on the right... phew!

CEN BK – Ali – Unused. Turned up as we were looking at Suleman not turning up and with Mo Ali/H Lambat out it made sense. Shame it rained so badly on him as well as Yasin/Ebrahim but they encouraged us all the way.

Top Goalscorers	MOM Awards	Top Average Ratings Overall	Most Full Appearances
I Chotia – 8	Saifullah – 2	Nakhuda – 6.75	Nakhuda – 7
Husky – 5	I Chotia – 1	Saif – 6.5	I Chotia – 6
Amin – 3	Husky – 1	I Chotia – 6.38	Amin – 5(1)
Saif – 2	Nakhuda – 1	Amin – 6.00	Saifullah – 5(1)
Nakhuda – 2	I Mayat - 1	Husky – 5.25	Husky – 5
			Usama – 4
			Yasir – 4
			Saeed – 2(2)

Match Summary

It was a cagey start with both teams cancelling each other out, but we soon got into the swing of things when I Chotia and Saifullah started running at defenders and Saif nearly scored a fantastic effort. They didn’t like it so started fouling us, but they soon paid the penalty with the free-kick that led to the goal. We previously had a wasted opportunity wasted (guess who?) but up stepped Mr Imran Mayat to make sure we went ahead. The surface was slippery and I thought this would benefit our game, especially as their defenders were getting turned inside out. Sully controlled the defence and was calm and composed at all times (especially when flicking the ball over the striker’s head!), allowing myself to push further up. We were doing just enough but just not fired up and allowed the opposition in a few times with Yasir called into action.

Second half and Sully made a dua for rainfall, dunno what dua he made because the opposite happened – the rain stopped (temporarily)! We started the second half with Imy moving to the right to allow Saif to cut in and shoot from the left. And then it happened, that shocking goal which seemed to bounce off two of our players (Imy/Sully?) and escaped a despairing slide by myself AND a full stretch dive by Yasir. We didn’t put our heads down and Amin had a great chance to put us up but it wasn’t to be. Muji on for Ishy and game on, he gave us an edge with some direct mazy dribbling which nearly finished in a goal. Imran. Imran got clobbered and so did I but we kept going, Yasir made another crucial and this time a one-on-one save which resulted in a draw.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com

MEDIA FRENZY (semi-broadsheet edition) -

QPT to go public

The QPT faithful have had to endure some gloomy times in the past few months but for some, nothing can surpass the fact that the club will no longer remain in the hands of true supporters. QPT is to float onto the stockmarket and although this should generate funds to purchase even more ‘Galacticos’ the fans aren’t happy. As recently reported by Media Frenzy the club is gearing more and more towards the modern club and stunts such as the statue erected (!) of Yasir and especially recent purchases Suleman Chotia and the self styled ‘Muji’’ have caused controversy.

When questioned by Media Frenzy one Orange exclaimed “In all my years with the club there has not been a more disastrous season on or off the field, the owners have lost the plot and are destroying all the club history, the values and to be honest it’s a complete farce!”. But as these types of chants echoed around the QPT section of the Stad de Forbes there was still work to be done on the field. QPT laboured to produce a result to be proud of, and didn’t the fans react. A solid draw in terrible conditions against rivals Forbes Solicitors which leaves them competing for promotion.

Elsewhere recent signing Suleman Chotia failed a routine drug test. The Lancashire Football Association (LFA) is investigating the possibility of his favourite drink Rubicon Mango being spiked by his very own brother Ismail Chotia. Both brothers deny the charges and claim they have been targeted by the club to chase them out. Ismail Chotia has been struggling for form and has already been reported in a drugs scandal himself sniffing cocaine. There are also rumours that Suleman Chotia aka ‘the Arab’ missed the first game against Forbes as he was attending a rucksack meeting! The allegations surfaced after he was questioned by police in connection with possession of a gas canister which he claims was purely for a domestic barbecue! Neither Chotias have yet been charged.

Next week in Media Frenzy how Imran Mayat has been stripped…..of captaincy!

QPT Vs Forbes 10/07/07

Match report v Forbes10/07/2007By Ebrahim
With our last minute somewhat controversial signing of Audley’s Cristiano Ronaldo aka Mujy (more later!) starting on the bench, even bigger must be the return to the first team of The Mohammedali! He was in nets covering for the crocked EP who was meant to be covering for the unavailable YP who was meant to be covering for our first-choice Zuber (remember him??) .
[Regains breath…] It looked like an invasion of the cult heroes as the QPT Kop’s call was answered after years of die hard unwaivering support for the local boy Yasin. Considering he hadn’t started a match for YEARS, he didn’t look out of place alongside Mo N. In fact, it allowed Saif more freedom to venture in attack – a ploy he employed only in the second half though. This brings me to the issue regarding our guys not being adventurous enough in the first half. Yasin was concerned that other players around him felt the need to ‘cover’ for him; thus, reducing a fluency in our attacking approach. It invited some threatening shots from Forbes which, to our credit, we dealt with comfortably – as did the man himself ‘ Mali ’. We looked composed however, and indeed took the lead in between these early exchanges as Amin turned and finished clinically – 3 in 3 now for the Lord as his influential presence is becoming more familiar now.
Unfortunately, a difficult ball to deal with at stomach-height for Yasin led to their equalizer. I think many will sympathise with Yas as this was one of those that you can neither head nor kick – to use a cricketing analogy, I’d say he was stumped!
1-1 at half-time and we just needed to ‘see it through’ as Forbes were not overly threatening. In my opinion the first sub that I made (Mujy for Yasin) turned the game as it upset the balance. Chots was off-colour and maybe should have made way himself as Mujy is not a midfielder. I liked how Ishy moved himself to the left-wing later on to try something different and maybe that is where he should have gone on the arrival of Mujy. Nonetheless, Mujy went to midfield with Amin dropping back. They immediately scored with a shot that The Man was disappointed to let slip under his body. I had my doubts, but Mali made a range of top drawer saves, showing again that he CAN really do anything, anywhere! (Is it a bird? Is it a plane?....)
After Husky had his regular ‘exchanges’ with the opponents, he volunteered to be subbed for myself and, like the last sub, they immediately scored - this time with a rasping shot. 3-1 down.
We still probed away in characteristic QPT fashion and got our rewards with a debut tap-in for Mujy, but that was too late. It was disappointing to lose 3-2 - we didn’t finish our chances and that ultimately cost us.
We play Forbes again next week and on this evidence, they are easily beatable. So the aim will be a comfortable win, comfortable being the operative word.

Player ratings
Mali – 8. Ref’s MOM and looked solid even though it was his first stint in goal. Made some crucial saves. He is The Mohammedali.
Mo N – 6.
Yasin – 7. Has been deserving of his chance to start for months now. Stuck to what he knows best and did it well. This is what I like to see players doing.
Saif – 7. Tried and tried to score those second and third goals for us! Some of his attacking play was breathless and it deserved an end-product.
Hassan L – 6. After a blinding start to the season, this was satisfactory in comparison. I think the cult heroes upstaged him!
Amin – 8. We are seeing more of the vintage Amin nowadays and the team is gelling well with him too. This game saw him becoming more vocal and influential – good signs for us.
Ishy C – 6. Couldn’t get involved enough to score, and this was his least effective match this season. He must not fall into the line of thinking that not scoring is not good (You have scored enough so far anyway Ishy!) Indeed, switching to left-wing is another exciting option for him at times.

Subs
Mujy (for Yasin)– 7. Got his debut goal, but the unfamiliarity of a midfield role was telling. His interplay with the rest of the team promises good football for us.
Ebrahim (for Hassan) – 6. Didn’t have enough time to be imposing. Still not fully fit and backing out of challenges.

Media Frenzy
A call-for-arms has been issued by the Torpedoes faithful to boycott the club after the recruitment of Muzafar Shaikh. The threat to shun the club they adore is based on the assumption that QPT, like Real Madrid, will now bid tooth-and-nail for the ‘new Galacticos’ of the footballing world. And they are well aware that the Madrid story did not have a happy ending once the likes of Figo, Zidane, Beckham, Ronaldo and Owen were at the club.
The Chairman of the QPT supporters club has cried, “It seems obvious to us that the new directors at this club are interested in only one type of silverware – and that’s not the trophy type.” He went on to highlight another recent purchase of superstar defender Suleman Chothia: “I’ve no doubt that Chothia and Shaikh will give it their all on the pitch, but it doesn’t bode well to the supporters that Chothia just didn’t turn up for this match. Where is the club fine and ban? He’s got nothing – and it’s down to the boys upstairs wanting him to stay and add to their back pockets!”
“We applaud Shaikh – he scored a good goal this week and tried his best in an unfamiliar position but who’s to say he will even be here next season? We, the faithful supporters that travel the length and breadth of the country just to wear the sacred Orange and enjoy our boys play football will not tolerate the same Orange being disregarded come the end of season like some kitchen rag – and that’s directed at both the owners and the players.”
It is obvious that the faithful Orange band is attempting to stop an overflow of money-loving by turning the tap firmly shut now. “If the directors are going to influence the direction of this team regarding who plays and who we should buy, then forget it. We need dialogue, and we need it now.”
A source close to the club has confirmed that a ‘sister club’ is already being prepared should the fans of QPT not be happy with this latest arrangement. And speculation is growing that it is former favourite Rashid Mulla who will front this campaign for Orange Torpedoes FC in the same manner that United FC of Manchester formed and indeed did Wimbledon AFC.
To add to the friction between loyalty and distanced professionalism, another former favourite at QPT ‘headquarters’ is reportedly not pleased at the arrival of Shaikh. For legal reasons, he cannot be named, but he did exclaim, “Apparently, Shaikh was a last-minute addition to the squad for the game against Forbes. But if they needed players, then Asif Mayat was at home at the time and so was Rashid Mulla – all they needed was a phone call!” Asked for his opinion on the ‘Galacticising’ of QPT, he added, “Well it CAN’T be good can it? Look at Real Madrid – Beckham never won anything until his final year, and even then Capello got sacked cos they just played to win at the expense of attractive football. It just isn’t a healthy arrangement, I tell you. As a fan at heart, i’m very worried.”
We now await a response from the board at QPT. The saga continues….

Match Report v ELC

VS
ELC Rovers
(03/07/07)

FINAL SCORE WON 5-1 (Half-time winning 2-1)

REPORT BY FAIR UNBIASED EXTERNAL CONSULTANT BROUGHT IN BY QPT……

Scorers (Lamba Pug(Husky) 2, God(amin), Vacuum (Mohamed ofcourse!), Mutley (Mali)

MOM – AMIN (followed VERY VERY closely by YASIR)

Conditions : Dry at start…wet later yes its summer……. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 3) K/O Time : 21.00

Referee : Cocky Busty Babes Thick Annoying Dodgy Decisionmaker DAD!

Recent form (past 4 games)-
Team Players on form
Lost 5-3 Saif 8 - - 8 - 7
Won 2-1 Usama 7 - - 7 - 7
Won 4-1 Saeed 6 - - 6 - 8
Won x-x Nakhuda 6 - - 6 - 8

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -
GK - Yasir 9.9 – Did NOTHING wrong, superb when called for, some great saves, good routine saves and handling fantastic. Why he’s not in the premier league amazes me!
CEN BK – Sully Chotia – 9- even at 50% match fitness, his reading of the game is amazing. Does have moments where he looks like he’ll make a mistake but hasn’t done so so far. Some great passes and runs…..covered big mans back at times!
CEN BK – Nakhuda 9 – NO COMMENT!
CEN MID - Amin 10 – Put it in all the way. Extremely impressed with his mature and intelligent defending, just dropping in front of defence to save energy and help team out when under pressure at times. Deservedly scored…..MOM (CoincidentallyYasir borrow his car today out !)
RIGHT MID – Husky L 9 –. Wow big feet scored two great goals…..its the extra reach for the first one and aggressive nature for second!!! Worked his socks off – stop smoking and play more often = lasting longer for game!
LEFT MID – Imran Mayat 9 – Buy some trainers would stop him messing up like he did on first goal…then set up three…defended worked his arse off…..transferred back…the legend is back!.enough said!!!
STRIKER - Ish Chotia 6 – Truth hurts,,,but truth is missed chances, misplaced passes and lost the ball too many times. Oh well….had his bad game when team won…back to normal next week please…..
Subs
STRIKER – Ebrahim 8 – Cant give someone 7 for doing nothing wrong! Clearly still injured backing out of challenges. Did what he had to!
Left Mid – Mohammed Ali 8 – Scored! Needs to just calm himself down when receiving ball…..tazmanian devillike all the time!! Another grafter – good defending and linked up well up front.
Defender – YASIN 9 – Came on for Imran, made some important blocks extremely important! Yasir would have saved them but…….. is he starting next game????

Match Summary
The game started with Imran turning up in moulds, Mohamed forgetting the ball, Amin comin right on time and Sully looking like an Arab!!! But Captain YASIR seemed to boost everyones morale by being there ready and buzzing to go – amazing performance considering he played a full game at jjb before but anyway……
Imran put Yasins trainers on and a ROUTINE one two with Yasir wen wrong wen IMRAN misplaced his pass straight to the striker and 1-0 to them within 5. Noone can blame YASIR! Yasir took ball out of nets and SPURRED the team on……..The constant instructions sent out by the captain was clearly having an effect on what is normally a quiet team with no leader but he took the role like fish to water!!!
Imran whipped one in and Bigfoot lambat slammed a volley in Mark Hughes style – Yas looked on nervously. Again motivating his troops imran must have heard his call and whipped his cross in for husky to head, knee, elbow, shoot but it went in nevertheless. This one seemed to be for captain marvel Amin scored a 3rd again set up by the player recruited and enticed back to the club by messiah Yasir! The legends (amin, yas, imran, sully, ishy chots, husky……is that everyone!!??) were flying….
2nd half teamtalk led by Yasir organised the team – great handling in nets by yas did what he was asked to when called for. Great one on one save again by yasir (who els!!?) led straight to a counter and Mohamed tapped it in OPEN GOAL! Turning around he seemed to point to best friend and mentor yasir showing his appreciation at covering his back in the move……..mutley the devil finished things with another well taken goal. Yasir wasn’t involved but his spirit was apparent!!!
Ishy chots finishin was clearly missing, the fans were calling for yasir to go upfront – he did and a shot was flying in but then a sudden freak wind came across and swerved it wide! Amin and jealousy sprung to mind!!!
QPT should feel privileged to have YAS’ presence again – no coincidence they’ve only conceded 2 in last two compared with 18 in first four……….should have his expenses paid for too. Sources within the club feel their sudden resurgence after their first three games (3 losses) is all being put down to the return of SUPER Yas, and his leadership skills. Another factor which has already proven of worth is the signing of Imran, again totally down to the great man, great keeper, overall great person YAS!

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com


MEDIA FRENZY (Tabloid Edition) –
RUMOURS WITHIN THE CLUB AMAZINGLY CLAIM THAT GOALKEEPER YASIR HAS REFUSED TO PLAY NEXT WEEKS GAME!!! ALLEGEDLY STORMING INTO MANAGER NAKHUDAS OFFICE, YASIR IS SAID TO BE FUMING WITH THE RECORD NUMBER OF TIME HIS NAME HAS BEEN MENTIONED IN THE LATEST MATCH REPORT. A SOURCE CLOSE TO THE CLUB WAS PREPARING NAKHUDAS HALF HOURLY MEAL AT THE TIME “YAS WAS FUMING, HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MODEST, HUMBLE PERSON, AND AFTER READING THE MATCH REPORT HE INSISTED HIS TEAMMATES GET ALL THE PRAISE. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TEAM PLAYER. BUT NAKHUDA INSISTED HE WASN’T GOING TO ASK FOR IT TO BE CHANGED” YASIR STORMED OFF TAKING NAKHUDAS FOOD WITH HIM IN A BIG UMBRO BAG!!! BOTH WERE NOT HAPPY! BRING ON NEXT WEEK……

TWO CONCERNED QPT FANS RANG 999 CLAIMING TO HAVE SEEN AND SPOKEN TO QPT MISFIRING STRIKER ISH CHOTIA. “HE WAS JUST SITTING ON THE LEEDS CANAL EDGE, LOOKING DOWN WITH A CAN OF BEER IN ONE HAND AND WHAT LOOKED LIKE A WHITE POWDERY SUBSTANCE NEXT TO HIM” WE WERE UNABLE TO GET HOLD OF ISH – FEARS OF SUICIDE HAVE BEEN INCREASED AS THE CANAL GETS SEARCHED FOR WHAT POLICE HAVE DESCRIBED AS “A SMALL PACKAGE”

QPT FANS HAVE HAILED THE SIGNING AND RETURN OF LEGENDARY FULL BACK IMRAN MAYAT. SOME HAVE EVEN CLAIMED HE WILL LEAD THE TEAM STRAIGHT TO THE TOP!!! ONE FAN SAID IT WAS THE BEST NEWS SINCE SEEING YASIR BACK IN NETS! CAN YOU GET A BETTER COMPARISON??????
QPT to go public

RETURN OF A QPT LEGEND!

Match Report v ZYBAR

FINAL SCORE WON 4-1 (Half-time winning 2-1)

Scorers (Saifullah, Chotia 2, Amin)
MOM – Saifullah

Conditions : Dry Pitch/Cloudy but warm. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Busty Babe!

Recent form (past 4 games)-

Team Players on form

Lost 6-4 Saif 6 - 8 - 7 - 9
Lost 5-3 Ishy C 8 - 10 - 6 - 9
Won 2-1 Usama 7 - 6 - 7 - 7
Won 4-1 Husky L 8 - 6 - 6 - 7

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -

GK - Yasir 7 – Didn’t really have much to do but excellent when called upon, with a notable one-on-one stop in the second half. Should let his performances do the talking.

CEN BK – Suleman Chotia 8 – What a debut! Suleman is back in the big time and what a start overall! Started sluggishly but then coped with the pace of the game, a bit adventurous at times even though he claimed he hadn’t played in months. Keep the performances coming you ‘f***** Arab’!!!

CEN BK – Nakhuda 7 – I thought I did the basics and just enough to keep the goals out, the memories of the partnership with Suleman from years ago came flooding back.

CEN MID - Amin 7 – A solid performance although at times looked like he was going to drop dead with fatigue! A brilliant run in the first half to track his man 30 yards, something that has been missing in his game recently. Linked up play well and deserved his goal at the end, experience made it, right place right time!

RIGHT MID – Husky L 7 – Ran his socks off! All over the park and as with Amin looked knackered all second half.

LEFT MID – Saifullah 9 – Magnificent!!! Best player by far. The opposition simply could not cope with the dribbling and I was particularly impressed with eagerness for wanting the ball and collecting it from Yasir.

STRIKER - Chotia 9 – What can I say about my favourite?! Made of goals and gets them just when we need them. Again the case with two well taken goals and the skipper has now resigned, surely you’re getting enough goals Chots what’s up Thierry?!!

Subs

GK - Zuber -

CENTRE HALF - Yasin – We should have used Yasin in the second half when a couple of us looked tired, Yas, your chance will come.

Top Goalscorers	MOM Awards	Top Average Ratings Overall	Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 8	Saifullah – 2	Saif – 8	Nakhuda – 5
Husky – 3	Chotia – 1	Husky – 7	Saif – 4(1)
Saifullah – 2	Husky L - 1	Usama – 7	Usama – 4
Usama – 1	Nakhuda - 1	Chotia – 6	Husky L – 4
Nakhuda – 1		Nakhuda – 6	Chotia – 4
Yasir – 1		Saeed – 6	Amin – 3(1)
Ishy Wadee - 1			Saeed – 2(2)
Amin – 1			Ebrahim – 2
			Yasir – 2

Match Summary

The match started with Zuber and Yasin fighting for who will pay the referee the match fees, all because it was a busty babe (that’s not coming from me, I prefer the big fat curry bloke!!). Starting without the Wadee brothers but bolstered with a new signing in Suleman Chotia.

We started well organised and both teams seemed to be trying to suss out each other’s weaknesses. Then Saifullah drilled a low drive and gave us the lead we wanted. We seemed to take our foot off the pedal and the equaliser came, we had two players closing the opposition attacker down but he managed to find an inch or two to get the shot away, low to Yasir’s right – and he claimed he couldn’t see it, fair enough Yas. We then started playing and Ishy Chotia scored, just after FC Zy Bar started arguing, something that encouraged us going into half-time.

Second half and Saif was seeing a lot of the ball on the left, but a few scares on the counter attack meant we had to score to get that vital cushion and any guesses on who got it?!! Yep step up Mr Chotia, Ismail that is! That killed the game and even before the goal we had chances from a Saif shot and a whipping Beckham esque ball by Nakhuda from the right which Chotia nearly sniffed out. So to the end and we scored with a Husky assist (what a shot hehe!) through Amin, Ebrahim has been waiting and Amin delivered. God is back!!!

Game spoilt with the racist guy who ‘called’ Suleman and also some two footed challenges on Yasir, no need for that and the league have been notified. Yasir might have been mouthy and may wind people up but there’s no need for that.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com

MEDIA FRENZY -

Yasir Patel statue!!!

Media Frenzy recently reported that club Sporting Director/Player had been involved in yet another instance of controversy, and has now even got his own ‘Playboy’ chant at the crowd in his name! But nothing will surpass what you are about to read – instead of punishing Yasir, the board of directors are due to honour him by ‘erecting’ a Rocky style huge 20ft statue outside the club megastore. The statue the board claim coincides with the club’s 21^st century values and can’t see the fuss “as museums in Paris have nude statues everywhere” . What seems to further cause fury amongst the QPT faithful is the fact that minors will be unable to visit the megastore due to the rather large erection on Yasir’s private parts. The club claim that the lost revenues will only strengthen the online arm for selling merchandise.

Match Report v Hole'ith Wall

(19/06/07)

FINAL SCORE WON 2-1 (Half-time losing 0-1)

Scorers (Ishy Wadee, Chotia)

MOM – Mohamed Nakhuda (Referees MOM Saeed Wadee)

Conditions : Wet Pitch/Humid. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 3) Referee : Fat
Asian Curry Bloke!

Recent form (past 4 games)-
Team Players on form
Lost 6-5 Saif 8 - - 8 - 7
Lost 6-4 Usama 7 - - 7 - 7
Lost 5-3 Saeed 6 - - 6 - 8
Won 2-1 Nakhuda 6 - - 6 - 8
QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings, by Ebrahim Patel) -
GK - Ebrahim 6 – Felt more comfortable but hopefully I won't get too comfortable in this position! Didn't have much to do - always a good sign.
CEN BK - Usama 7 – Getting ambitious these days with the runs forward - remember to track back please! Still, has got a 'helluva' shot.
CEN BK – Nakhuda 8 – Fantastic. My MOM. Stayed alert of all dangers throughout the match and kept it safe.
CEN MID - Saeed 8 – Ref's MOM and our powerhouse in midfield. Did everything we needed in that middle.
RIGHT MID - Saifullah 7 –. Quiet game by his superstar standards but had to do the job at the back and made it look easy.
LEFT MID – Ishy Wadee 6 – Struggled to adapt his fluent game on the wet surface. Must slow it down at times!
STRIKER - Chotia 6 - Typically well-taken goal. Like Ishy W, looked like he was rushing - we didn't need to try that hard as the surface should have actually helped our cause..
Subs
STRIKER - Amin 6 – Made chances to score his first goal in umpteen years. We're still waiting though....
CENTRE HALF - Yasin – What can we say come rain or shine, always there appreciated Yas. (MSN)

Top Goalscorers MOM Awards Top Average Ratings Overall (excluding King Edward game) Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 6 Husky – 1 Saif – 8 Nakhuda – 3
Husky – 3 Chotia – 1 Husky – 7 Usama – 3
Saifullah – 1 Saifullah - 1 Usama – 7 Husky – 3
Usama – 1 Nakhuda - 1 Chotia – 6 Saifullah – 2(1)
Nakhuda – 1 Nakhuda – 6 Amin – 2
Yasir – 1 Saeed – 6 Chotia – 2
Ishy Wadee - 1 Saeed – 1(2)
Zuber – 2
Yasir – 1

Match Summary
The match started with ‘Bismillah’ as we all looked pumped up for the game, with Husky the most notable absentee and Ishy Wadee replacing him. From the beginning of the game we looked comfortable and it was with amazement that the opposition took the lead. A low drive into the bottom corner and we looked in horror and some of us looked embarrassed that we were losing to such a team. But we lifted ourselves and carved out chances, but rushing that final ball when a little bit of patience could have led to a flurry of goals. The support from Yasin/Amin/Zuber/Yasir/Mo Ali – full house at the QPT ArenA! - was encouraging especially with shouts of ‘machi’ by Mo Ali I think when Saif was on full throttle (no offence and you’re dead now get’im Saif)!

So second half and we looked much sharper, defensively good in the tackle and scored from a well worked free-kick, good thinking Saeed, didn’t think you had a brain on ya! The second was coming and a cross field pass by Ishy Wadee I think (who I thought was MOM especially for first half display – that’s three in one game oooh it’s all about opinions in football!) and then Chotia coolly brought the ball down, rounded the keeped and GET IN!!! We looked all over them as Saif squandered one chance wide after slicing with the outside of the foot, also Amin had chances at the end after excellent work by Saifullah.

Overall a polished display but we could have had more goals, many more, which we don’t need to worry about considering our form up front. Let’s build on this now after a late kick start to the season, we’re hungry for success so let’s go out and prove it against FC Zy Bar next week.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com
MEDIA FRENZY -
Sully Chotia swoop?!
Rumours are circulating at QPT that superstar Suleman Chotia will sign on the dotted line after weeks of speculation. The likely transfer seems to be at an ideal time with Usama leaving the country for his wedding to supermodel Giselle Frey as earlier reported by Media Frenzy. Suleman who is also known as ‘Sully’ seems to fit the bill but there is a snag, his agents are part of a religious sect who are unlikely to authorise the deal. Sully retired from playing football in order to search for spiritual enlightenment and would cause an uproar with the sect if he was to make a return to the game. Sully was spotted at the game vs Hole ‘ith Wall and signed autographs for fans but when questioned by reporters about the deal answered “I’m here to watch my brother, if he’s happy, I’m happy”. We’ll see just how ‘happy’ he really is when offered a lucrative deal of around £80k a week, and really see if money can persuade!

Match Report v Toms Shop

INAL SCORE LOST 5-3 (Half-time losing 4-2)

Scorers (Chotia 3)
MOM – Chotia

Conditions : Dry Pitch/Humid. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) Referee : Fat Asian Curry Bloke!

Recent form (past 4 games)-

Team Players on form

Lost 6-5 Chotia 8 - - 10 -
Lost 6-4 Husky 8 - - 6 -
Lost 5-3 Saif 8 - - 8 -
Usama 7 - - 7 -

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -

GK - Ebrahim 6 - Pulled off one magnificent save to his left (didn’t you say something about the finger on your left hand being injured?!), apart from that did his best as a stand in goalie but unable to keep the goals out.

CEN BK - Usama 7 – Defensively not much in the game, but played some excellent stuff and exchanged passes with Saif for one of the goals, solid second half..

CEN BK - Nakhuda - Another average performance and to be honest I am totally unhappy at my contribution vocally on the pitch. This WILL improve I assure you and I will try and rally the troops as much as I can in the next game but need some help and feedback in doing so. I’m holding on to the ball too long as well but we do need options especially down the flanks.

CEN MID - Saeed 6 – Not the best of games but did show glimpses of what he’s capable of, collecting the ball early is a must in the middle and another problem Saeed faced was the number of options available to him particularly in the first half.

RIGHT MID - Hasan Lambat 6 – After a couple of excellent performances Husky complained of back problems which probably affected his running by the looks of it, I’m sure he’ll come back stronger as he always does.

LEFT MID - Saifullah 8 – What an acquisition and what a revelation Saif has been. Hunger, desire, determination and everything you dream of in a player, another brilliant performance epitomised by the challenge in the second half which saved us a goal. Carry on, please….

STRIKER - Chotia 10 - Scored a hat-rick of poacher goals and could have had 6 or 7, missed a few chances but what more can you expect from a striker than 3 goals in a game? Are we up for it defensively because we know with Chotia we’ll always get goals.

Subs

RIGHT MID – Ishy Wadee 7 - Replaced Husky in second half and showed slowly started influencing the shape of the game with some mazy dribbling and ball possession. His skill is second to none and will be important as the season progresses.

LEFT MID - Amin – Injured but came along to show support for the boys in true QPT fashion.

CENTRE HALF - Yasin - Again didn’t manage to get on but always on hand with the teamsheet because my handwriting is terrible!

Top Goalscorers	MOM Awards	Top Average Ratings Overall (excluding King Edward game)	Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 5	Husky – 1	Saif – 8	Nakhuda – 3
Husky – 3	Chotia – 1	Husky – 7	Usama – 3
Saifullah – 1	Saifullah - 1	Usama – 7	Husky – 3
Usama – 1		Chotia – 6	Saifullah – 2(1)
Nakhuda – 1		Nakhuda – 6	Amin – 2
Yasir – 1		Saeed – 6	Chotia – 2
			Saeed – 1(2)
			Zuber – 2
			Yasir – 1

Match Summary (by Ebrahim Patel)

These match reports are not getting any easier to write these days! But as long as we take to winning and losing with the same attitude, then we can "keep moving forward" as that man Rocky said. We must be true to ourselves, learn from our mistakes, play to our strengths and, when we do win, let us keep our feet on the ground and keep aiming higher, wanting more.

Anyway, this is how our latest 'show' unfolded...

It was really encouraging as we took the lead through the main man Ishy C. He was looking sharp, but the warning signs were there, just as they were there in the first two matches.

Just like us, the teams in this division love to pass and move, and that’s how they equalized almost immediately – a shot was eventually blocked, but our reactions are still not intact this season as they were allowed to shoot again (a good shot though), the ball going in off the post.

I felt the 2^nd goal was soft on my (goalkeeping) part as the ball was close to my body and I got my fingertips to it as it went in. Still, it felt as though they were getting the upper hand at this stage as we couldn’t string a few passes together – “come to collect the ball” was the cry from Ishy Wadee from the bench, and he was right because our strength is playing our way by keeping possession.

A good passing move did come but only from them as they scored a third. It was soft on our part as our defence was there one minute but seemed to freeze the next – the flanks must keep tracking!

We were trying, but they were allowed to make it 4 before Ishy scored again – seemed like an easy move from ourselves, and we needed more of it. 4-2 down at half-time.

The second half was really promising; if only the match was played in this half! All the attributes that this QPT team have become known for were on display as we worked the ball around with ease and neat interplay. I was especially impressed with Usama collecting the ball in defence even when pressurized. This actually allowed us to play the patient possession game, confident that chances would eventually come.

The chances did indeed come, and I think Chots will naturally be harsher on himself by believing he should have finished those that came his way. But a hat-trick from the predator should be enough for us to win any match. Unfortunately, we are not defending well as a unit these days – see first paragraph!

A 5-3 defeat should have been victory for us (not even a draw)… Keep moving forward boys.

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MEDIA FRENZY -

Amin hospitalised/Zuber out for season?!

QPT legend and stalwart Amin who was hospitalised after the King Edward game bravely made his way to the Tom’s Shop match after career threatening injuries sustained to his thumb and leg. He escaped via the windows on the 5^th floor of the hospital and made his way down to earth using bed sheets! He then made his way to Hog’s Head for a quick pint and straight to the game. One fan claimed “‘only if the other players showed such commitment we might get some results, they’re real prima donnas”. Amin has also confirmed he is finally to tie the knot as with Usama this summer, but the former will be earning £1m for photography rights from OK! magazine at a lavish event with VIPs attending from all over the world.

There is more trouble on the player front with Zuber adding to the misery of an already depleted squad, blaming a mysterious knee injury for missing training and the latest match. He is likely to be sidelined for 1 month but his agent has hinted at a return to his former club, this from a player who has recently signed a 4 year contract. On a positive note Adam Desai is reported to be unhappy already at Corinthians and may make a dramatic U-turn to sign for QPT after leaving a buy out clause for leaving within the first 6 months, watch this space….

The board are under pressure and there are calls for them to resign after a dismal run of results with three defeats on the trot, the worst start to a season ever. Pressure has mounted further over allegations that the Director of Football/Player Yasir Patel was spotted in the red light district on the night before the Tom’s Shop match, something which can be deemed as gross misconduct and totally against the club rules. Yasir has been caught frolicking with sheep, children and with the company secretary in the past and known for his playboy attitude, only time will tell if gets away with it once again!