Match Report v ZYBAR

FINAL SCORE WON 4-1 (Half-time winning 2-1)

Scorers (Saifullah, Chotia 2, Amin)
MOM – Saifullah

Conditions : Dry Pitch/Cloudy but warm. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) K/O Time : 21.00 Referee : Busty Babe!

Recent form (past 4 games)-

Team Players on form

Lost 6-4 Saif 6 - 8 - 7 - 9
Lost 5-3 Ishy C 8 - 10 - 6 - 9
Won 2-1 Usama 7 - 6 - 7 - 7
Won 4-1 Husky L 8 - 6 - 6 - 7

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -

GK - Yasir 7 – Didn’t really have much to do but excellent when called upon, with a notable one-on-one stop in the second half. Should let his performances do the talking.

CEN BK – Suleman Chotia 8 – What a debut! Suleman is back in the big time and what a start overall! Started sluggishly but then coped with the pace of the game, a bit adventurous at times even though he claimed he hadn’t played in months. Keep the performances coming you ‘f***** Arab’!!!

CEN BK – Nakhuda 7 – I thought I did the basics and just enough to keep the goals out, the memories of the partnership with Suleman from years ago came flooding back.

CEN MID - Amin 7 – A solid performance although at times looked like he was going to drop dead with fatigue! A brilliant run in the first half to track his man 30 yards, something that has been missing in his game recently. Linked up play well and deserved his goal at the end, experience made it, right place right time!

RIGHT MID – Husky L 7 – Ran his socks off! All over the park and as with Amin looked knackered all second half.

LEFT MID – Saifullah 9 – Magnificent!!! Best player by far. The opposition simply could not cope with the dribbling and I was particularly impressed with eagerness for wanting the ball and collecting it from Yasir.

STRIKER - Chotia 9 – What can I say about my favourite?! Made of goals and gets them just when we need them. Again the case with two well taken goals and the skipper has now resigned, surely you’re getting enough goals Chots what’s up Thierry?!!

Subs

GK - Zuber -

CENTRE HALF - Yasin – We should have used Yasin in the second half when a couple of us looked tired, Yas, your chance will come.

Top Goalscorers	MOM Awards	Top Average Ratings Overall	Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 8	Saifullah – 2	Saif – 8	Nakhuda – 5
Husky – 3	Chotia – 1	Husky – 7	Saif – 4(1)
Saifullah – 2	Husky L - 1	Usama – 7	Usama – 4
Usama – 1	Nakhuda - 1	Chotia – 6	Husky L – 4
Nakhuda – 1		Nakhuda – 6	Chotia – 4
Yasir – 1		Saeed – 6	Amin – 3(1)
Ishy Wadee - 1			Saeed – 2(2)
Amin – 1			Ebrahim – 2
			Yasir – 2

Match Summary

The match started with Zuber and Yasin fighting for who will pay the referee the match fees, all because it was a busty babe (that’s not coming from me, I prefer the big fat curry bloke!!). Starting without the Wadee brothers but bolstered with a new signing in Suleman Chotia.

We started well organised and both teams seemed to be trying to suss out each other’s weaknesses. Then Saifullah drilled a low drive and gave us the lead we wanted. We seemed to take our foot off the pedal and the equaliser came, we had two players closing the opposition attacker down but he managed to find an inch or two to get the shot away, low to Yasir’s right – and he claimed he couldn’t see it, fair enough Yas. We then started playing and Ishy Chotia scored, just after FC Zy Bar started arguing, something that encouraged us going into half-time.

Second half and Saif was seeing a lot of the ball on the left, but a few scares on the counter attack meant we had to score to get that vital cushion and any guesses on who got it?!! Yep step up Mr Chotia, Ismail that is! That killed the game and even before the goal we had chances from a Saif shot and a whipping Beckham esque ball by Nakhuda from the right which Chotia nearly sniffed out. So to the end and we scored with a Husky assist (what a shot hehe!) through Amin, Ebrahim has been waiting and Amin delivered. God is back!!!

Game spoilt with the racist guy who ‘called’ Suleman and also some two footed challenges on Yasir, no need for that and the league have been notified. Yasir might have been mouthy and may wind people up but there’s no need for that.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com

MEDIA FRENZY -

Yasir Patel statue!!!

Media Frenzy recently reported that club Sporting Director/Player had been involved in yet another instance of controversy, and has now even got his own ‘Playboy’ chant at the crowd in his name! But nothing will surpass what you are about to read – instead of punishing Yasir, the board of directors are due to honour him by ‘erecting’ a Rocky style huge 20ft statue outside the club megastore. The statue the board claim coincides with the club’s 21^st century values and can’t see the fuss “as museums in Paris have nude statues everywhere” . What seems to further cause fury amongst the QPT faithful is the fact that minors will be unable to visit the megastore due to the rather large erection on Yasir’s private parts. The club claim that the lost revenues will only strengthen the online arm for selling merchandise.

Match Report v Hole'ith Wall

(19/06/07)

FINAL SCORE WON 2-1 (Half-time losing 0-1)

Scorers (Ishy Wadee, Chotia)

MOM – Mohamed Nakhuda (Referees MOM Saeed Wadee)

Conditions : Wet Pitch/Humid. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 3) Referee : Fat
Asian Curry Bloke!

Recent form (past 4 games)-
Team Players on form
Lost 6-5 Saif 8 - - 8 - 7
Lost 6-4 Usama 7 - - 7 - 7
Lost 5-3 Saeed 6 - - 6 - 8
Won 2-1 Nakhuda 6 - - 6 - 8
QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings, by Ebrahim Patel) -
GK - Ebrahim 6 – Felt more comfortable but hopefully I won't get too comfortable in this position! Didn't have much to do - always a good sign.
CEN BK - Usama 7 – Getting ambitious these days with the runs forward - remember to track back please! Still, has got a 'helluva' shot.
CEN BK – Nakhuda 8 – Fantastic. My MOM. Stayed alert of all dangers throughout the match and kept it safe.
CEN MID - Saeed 8 – Ref's MOM and our powerhouse in midfield. Did everything we needed in that middle.
RIGHT MID - Saifullah 7 –. Quiet game by his superstar standards but had to do the job at the back and made it look easy.
LEFT MID – Ishy Wadee 6 – Struggled to adapt his fluent game on the wet surface. Must slow it down at times!
STRIKER - Chotia 6 - Typically well-taken goal. Like Ishy W, looked like he was rushing - we didn't need to try that hard as the surface should have actually helped our cause..
Subs
STRIKER - Amin 6 – Made chances to score his first goal in umpteen years. We're still waiting though....
CENTRE HALF - Yasin – What can we say come rain or shine, always there appreciated Yas. (MSN)

Top Goalscorers MOM Awards Top Average Ratings Overall (excluding King Edward game) Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 6 Husky – 1 Saif – 8 Nakhuda – 3
Husky – 3 Chotia – 1 Husky – 7 Usama – 3
Saifullah – 1 Saifullah - 1 Usama – 7 Husky – 3
Usama – 1 Nakhuda - 1 Chotia – 6 Saifullah – 2(1)
Nakhuda – 1 Nakhuda – 6 Amin – 2
Yasir – 1 Saeed – 6 Chotia – 2
Ishy Wadee - 1 Saeed – 1(2)
Zuber – 2
Yasir – 1

Match Summary
The match started with ‘Bismillah’ as we all looked pumped up for the game, with Husky the most notable absentee and Ishy Wadee replacing him. From the beginning of the game we looked comfortable and it was with amazement that the opposition took the lead. A low drive into the bottom corner and we looked in horror and some of us looked embarrassed that we were losing to such a team. But we lifted ourselves and carved out chances, but rushing that final ball when a little bit of patience could have led to a flurry of goals. The support from Yasin/Amin/Zuber/Yasir/Mo Ali – full house at the QPT ArenA! - was encouraging especially with shouts of ‘machi’ by Mo Ali I think when Saif was on full throttle (no offence and you’re dead now get’im Saif)!

So second half and we looked much sharper, defensively good in the tackle and scored from a well worked free-kick, good thinking Saeed, didn’t think you had a brain on ya! The second was coming and a cross field pass by Ishy Wadee I think (who I thought was MOM especially for first half display – that’s three in one game oooh it’s all about opinions in football!) and then Chotia coolly brought the ball down, rounded the keeped and GET IN!!! We looked all over them as Saif squandered one chance wide after slicing with the outside of the foot, also Amin had chances at the end after excellent work by Saifullah.

Overall a polished display but we could have had more goals, many more, which we don’t need to worry about considering our form up front. Let’s build on this now after a late kick start to the season, we’re hungry for success so let’s go out and prove it against FC Zy Bar next week.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com
MEDIA FRENZY -
Sully Chotia swoop?!
Rumours are circulating at QPT that superstar Suleman Chotia will sign on the dotted line after weeks of speculation. The likely transfer seems to be at an ideal time with Usama leaving the country for his wedding to supermodel Giselle Frey as earlier reported by Media Frenzy. Suleman who is also known as ‘Sully’ seems to fit the bill but there is a snag, his agents are part of a religious sect who are unlikely to authorise the deal. Sully retired from playing football in order to search for spiritual enlightenment and would cause an uproar with the sect if he was to make a return to the game. Sully was spotted at the game vs Hole ‘ith Wall and signed autographs for fans but when questioned by reporters about the deal answered “I’m here to watch my brother, if he’s happy, I’m happy”. We’ll see just how ‘happy’ he really is when offered a lucrative deal of around £80k a week, and really see if money can persuade!

Match Report v Toms Shop

INAL SCORE LOST 5-3 (Half-time losing 4-2)

Scorers (Chotia 3)
MOM – Chotia

Conditions : Dry Pitch/Humid. Venue: Witton Park Astroturf (Pitch 4) Referee : Fat Asian Curry Bloke!

Recent form (past 4 games)-

Team Players on form

Lost 6-5 Chotia 8 - - 10 -
Lost 6-4 Husky 8 - - 6 -
Lost 5-3 Saif 8 - - 8 -
Usama 7 - - 7 -

QPT PLAYER CAM (Ratings) -

GK - Ebrahim 6 - Pulled off one magnificent save to his left (didn’t you say something about the finger on your left hand being injured?!), apart from that did his best as a stand in goalie but unable to keep the goals out.

CEN BK - Usama 7 – Defensively not much in the game, but played some excellent stuff and exchanged passes with Saif for one of the goals, solid second half..

CEN BK - Nakhuda - Another average performance and to be honest I am totally unhappy at my contribution vocally on the pitch. This WILL improve I assure you and I will try and rally the troops as much as I can in the next game but need some help and feedback in doing so. I’m holding on to the ball too long as well but we do need options especially down the flanks.

CEN MID - Saeed 6 – Not the best of games but did show glimpses of what he’s capable of, collecting the ball early is a must in the middle and another problem Saeed faced was the number of options available to him particularly in the first half.

RIGHT MID - Hasan Lambat 6 – After a couple of excellent performances Husky complained of back problems which probably affected his running by the looks of it, I’m sure he’ll come back stronger as he always does.

LEFT MID - Saifullah 8 – What an acquisition and what a revelation Saif has been. Hunger, desire, determination and everything you dream of in a player, another brilliant performance epitomised by the challenge in the second half which saved us a goal. Carry on, please….

STRIKER - Chotia 10 - Scored a hat-rick of poacher goals and could have had 6 or 7, missed a few chances but what more can you expect from a striker than 3 goals in a game? Are we up for it defensively because we know with Chotia we’ll always get goals.

Subs

RIGHT MID – Ishy Wadee 7 - Replaced Husky in second half and showed slowly started influencing the shape of the game with some mazy dribbling and ball possession. His skill is second to none and will be important as the season progresses.

LEFT MID - Amin – Injured but came along to show support for the boys in true QPT fashion.

CENTRE HALF - Yasin - Again didn’t manage to get on but always on hand with the teamsheet because my handwriting is terrible!

Top Goalscorers	MOM Awards	Top Average Ratings Overall (excluding King Edward game)	Most Full Appearances
Chotia – 5	Husky – 1	Saif – 8	Nakhuda – 3
Husky – 3	Chotia – 1	Husky – 7	Usama – 3
Saifullah – 1	Saifullah - 1	Usama – 7	Husky – 3
Usama – 1		Chotia – 6	Saifullah – 2(1)
Nakhuda – 1		Nakhuda – 6	Amin – 2
Yasir – 1		Saeed – 6	Chotia – 2
			Saeed – 1(2)
			Zuber – 2
			Yasir – 1

Match Summary (by Ebrahim Patel)

These match reports are not getting any easier to write these days! But as long as we take to winning and losing with the same attitude, then we can "keep moving forward" as that man Rocky said. We must be true to ourselves, learn from our mistakes, play to our strengths and, when we do win, let us keep our feet on the ground and keep aiming higher, wanting more.

Anyway, this is how our latest 'show' unfolded...

It was really encouraging as we took the lead through the main man Ishy C. He was looking sharp, but the warning signs were there, just as they were there in the first two matches.

Just like us, the teams in this division love to pass and move, and that’s how they equalized almost immediately – a shot was eventually blocked, but our reactions are still not intact this season as they were allowed to shoot again (a good shot though), the ball going in off the post.

I felt the 2^nd goal was soft on my (goalkeeping) part as the ball was close to my body and I got my fingertips to it as it went in. Still, it felt as though they were getting the upper hand at this stage as we couldn’t string a few passes together – “come to collect the ball” was the cry from Ishy Wadee from the bench, and he was right because our strength is playing our way by keeping possession.

A good passing move did come but only from them as they scored a third. It was soft on our part as our defence was there one minute but seemed to freeze the next – the flanks must keep tracking!

We were trying, but they were allowed to make it 4 before Ishy scored again – seemed like an easy move from ourselves, and we needed more of it. 4-2 down at half-time.

The second half was really promising; if only the match was played in this half! All the attributes that this QPT team have become known for were on display as we worked the ball around with ease and neat interplay. I was especially impressed with Usama collecting the ball in defence even when pressurized. This actually allowed us to play the patient possession game, confident that chances would eventually come.

The chances did indeed come, and I think Chots will naturally be harsher on himself by believing he should have finished those that came his way. But a hat-trick from the predator should be enough for us to win any match. Unfortunately, we are not defending well as a unit these days – see first paragraph!

A 5-3 defeat should have been victory for us (not even a draw)… Keep moving forward boys.

Feel free to add your comments on the blog - http://www.queensparktorpedoes.blogspot.com

MEDIA FRENZY -

Amin hospitalised/Zuber out for season?!

QPT legend and stalwart Amin who was hospitalised after the King Edward game bravely made his way to the Tom’s Shop match after career threatening injuries sustained to his thumb and leg. He escaped via the windows on the 5^th floor of the hospital and made his way down to earth using bed sheets! He then made his way to Hog’s Head for a quick pint and straight to the game. One fan claimed “‘only if the other players showed such commitment we might get some results, they’re real prima donnas”. Amin has also confirmed he is finally to tie the knot as with Usama this summer, but the former will be earning £1m for photography rights from OK! magazine at a lavish event with VIPs attending from all over the world.

There is more trouble on the player front with Zuber adding to the misery of an already depleted squad, blaming a mysterious knee injury for missing training and the latest match. He is likely to be sidelined for 1 month but his agent has hinted at a return to his former club, this from a player who has recently signed a 4 year contract. On a positive note Adam Desai is reported to be unhappy already at Corinthians and may make a dramatic U-turn to sign for QPT after leaving a buy out clause for leaving within the first 6 months, watch this space….

The board are under pressure and there are calls for them to resign after a dismal run of results with three defeats on the trot, the worst start to a season ever. Pressure has mounted further over allegations that the Director of Football/Player Yasir Patel was spotted in the red light district on the night before the Tom’s Shop match, something which can be deemed as gross misconduct and totally against the club rules. Yasir has been caught frolicking with sheep, children and with the company secretary in the past and known for his playboy attitude, only time will tell if gets away with it once again!

Media Frenzy v King Edward Guide

Media Frenzy

Saeed Wadee is reported to have stormed out of the
training session on the aftermath of another heavy
defeat suffered against league rivals King Edward -
Guide.  Mr Wadee aka Dre, due to his hip hop lifestyle
was again on the bench this time due to what
player/manager claimed was for "tactical reasons".
This latest attempt to hide the truth from the adoring
fans of the young player of the year only adds to
speculation for another departure.  Adam Desai has
already agreed a deal with homeland club Corinthians
and is expected to leave for a cool £17m. 

If you thought it couldn't get worse it already is in
terms of shortage of players, Usama is due to marry
long time school sweetheart Gisele Frey in a low key
ceremony on the island of Reunion.  This quashes all
doubts of his sexuality after years of allegations
targeted at himself and player/manager Nakhuda and the
process of 'grooming'!  The question of sexuality
still hangs on the shoulders for brother Ishy Wadee,
who's mannerisms during goal celebrations have caused
disgust amongst a large section of fans.  The ultimate
question is, will he ever be the same player after
going abroad and after missing such vital games, will
he ever regain his place as the vulture in Yasin is
lurking? 

Elsewhere Nakhuda has ditched long time sponsors Umbro
for Puma after the crucial slip vs Havelock, this will
include all Beckham style Nakhuda branded gear and
puts him on par with the likes of Zuber, Ebrahim and
Chotia as the highest earners at the club.  

Match Report v King Edward Guide

Result 6-4 (lost)

Good first half - controlled, nice and simple, basic football led to us going in 2-0 up and really not looking like we were going to lose this game. Goals by Yasir and Sayf.

Half time teamtalk was simple - score another and we win, only way we lose is by one silly mistake. Husky Lambat was the unfortunate guy to do this early on - straight to their striker who had showed glimpses of his threat in first half to slot home. Followed by a mess up by Yasir - lucky for him Zubs saved a one on one. Unneeded pressure started building, they saw our long mentioned weakness in being weak into challenges and took full advantage, pressed evrything and challenged hard - has to be said, that as always we were second best in this department and unless we get used to it and start putting it in all these teams will do the same. It doesnt take long for a good team to pinpoint an oppositions weakness.

Husky made up for it by scoring and we were up 3-1, this time it should have been over and we should be cruising. But again a simple long ball, Yasir hit crossbar (ours!) and rebound straight to them 3-2! I think its fair to say that from this point onwards it was all them and we were staring at defeat - couldnt clear our line, couldnt hold ball up, couldnt play passes together, couldnt challenge (yes another mention!) - it was just pathetic lads!!

Yes Zubs may have made mistakes for 3rd, 4th and 5th goal but it should never have got to that stage. Rio letting us down by getting sent off at 3-3. 5-3, and Mohamed brought us back 5-4 but merely a consolation. 6-4 last minute.

On the upside, Sayf is looking a great signing - we can all learn something from him - keep it up lad. Man of match for us. Amins injury not as bad as thought, he will be getting married with a fully fit thumb!!!! Not many other plus points

Hopefully major players will be back next week against holehouse - they have won 3rd and 2nd div in a row last 2 seasons, and were due to play in prem this season however they have lost 2 in 2 like us and against the same teams we have lost to....so its game on. Focus, talk and for god sake put some aggresive challenges in (take some drugs if u hv to b4 game!)

Zub 4 - Not a good game to put it bluntly. Contributed to a mistake-ridden second half for QPT with some of his own. But he knows it, and he will move on.
Yasir 5 - Scored a goal, but the mix-up with Zuber that lead to their second goal was calamitous. May be a over-enthusiastic at times!
Mo N 6 - Did not do much wrong and another defender that scored for us!
Saif 6 - Lively and energetic, scored a goal too. But the defensive duties need addressing!
Husky L 6 - Scored another goal in a good start to the season for him, but the mistake that led to their first goal proved to be very costly.
Usama 6 - Midfield for our 'fast-becoming' main defender. Couldn't impose himself with the authority required in the middle and had to be substituted for a niggle.
Amin 6 - Did his job well up front and brought others into play. As with the other attacking players, his first half was excellent. Bad double-injury on thumb and calf meant he had to be subbed too.
(Saeed) 5 - Had a tough job of trying to help revive our fortunes. Not sure where that aggressive behaviour towards the opponents and ref comes from, but its totally unnecessary.
(Sub) Rio 1 - Petulant sending off. Although we made mistakes, his kicking-out at an opponent meant we were starved of that extra attacking force needed to come back. Gets 1 mark for actually being in space for an early 'flick' to goal (which went wide). VERY disappointed him.
(Sub) Yasin 5 - Came on for the injured Amin. Don't think he even got a touch to the ball, but always there for us if we need him, and we needed him then.